I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
