She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Randomize
