i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
