I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
