New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
