I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Still dying that you shit outside
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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