she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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