please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
