I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Randomize
