Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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