Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Text me some of your sweat
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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