DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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