I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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