By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
