Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
