I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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