so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
