i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
