they need to just BURY HIM!
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
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