Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
