Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
