She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
