i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Randomize
