Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Randomize
