I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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