Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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