The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Randomize
