I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
is wine microwaveable?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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