He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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