drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
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