When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
