the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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