i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
