dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Randomize
