I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
