Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
