oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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