So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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