Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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