my soul wont recognize me after tonight
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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