So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
