RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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