best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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