she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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