i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
