I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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