The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
