ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
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