idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
