If i come over, it means nothing
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
