I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize