Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
my shit smells like andre
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Randomize
