I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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