I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
my sisters under your porch take her home
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
bring money and cleavage
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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