that's an acceptable place to lick
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
