why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I deserve this hangover.
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