she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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