She is in my trunk
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I think I have vodka in my lungs
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
