"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I understand Curling. That high.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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