I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
