we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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