That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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