my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
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