9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
