Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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