Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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